Honoring his blessed memory
Perspective:
By Edie J. Adler
It is hard to believe this will be my third year without my beloved Papito! I think about him constantly and I miss him every single day. I’m still waiting for it to get “easier” as people said it would.
Perhaps it’s because I’m writing my second book, this one about my parents; or maybe because I truly was “Daddy’s little princess” or could it be that I had the best father I could possible want? Whatever the reason, or reasons, the fact of the matter is that I miss my daddy and actually dread Father’s Day now.
How to deal with this immeasurable void in my life? One way is to write about Papito and share my ideas with my friends on LatinoLA. Another is to find ways to honor his memory.
The first year was very tough. I decided to visit a nursing home and bring a gift to someone who didn’t get any visitors on Father’s Day. The facility I chose, near my home, paired me off with a gentleman who did not have any children. I didn’t understand the rationale behind this, since the whole idea was to honor a “father.” Never the less, I tried to make the best of this situation. Neal and I brought him a shirt and a cake to share with his friends. Unfortunately this gentleman did not seem too excited at having someone visiting him. I can’t say that I blame him; after all I was a total stranger, and he probably correctly assumed I was weird, wanting to spend Father’s Day with him.
I don’t even remember what I did last year. All I know is that it was a tough day. This time around I thought I would share my sadness and longing for my daddy with you; not to bring you down or dwell on my loss; but to help you appreciate your own daddies, if you are fortunate enough to have them!
Statistics indicate that Mother’s Day is the biggest day for sales of flowers, greeting cards, and phone calls. As Martha Stewart would say, that’s a good thing! But how about Father’s Day? What’s wrong with sending your dad a greeting card, even if you’re planning on seeing him? Or how about giving him some flowers? Papito used to love getting flowers! And he was not alone; a couple of years ago Neal and I spent the 4th of July at the home of his best friend’s parents. For no reason at all, I decided to bring some flowers for Glenn’s dad. The man was beside himself! He said no one had ever given him flowers, and he was very appreciative. Think of how your dad would feel if you bring him flowers on Father’s Day!
Don’t be ashamed to call him “Papito” or “Daddy” – no matter how old you are, you are still his precious child!
I also want to do something to honor Papito’s blessed memory. I’m still not sure what I will do, but I will try to find something, some kind of good deed that would make him proud of his little princess.
Life with my parents was not always easy. Particularly after Alzheimer’s took their mind; but I still consider myself blessed and extremely lucky to have had Heron and Neftali Ocampo as my parents. They showed me the way and led by example on how to be a good person.
Honor your dad this Father’s Day….and always!
Happy Father’s Day in heaven,
mi Papito Chulo!
Edie J. Adler is author of “My Yiddishe Grandma” Reprinted from LatinoLa (latinola.com)