Stay Mystical, My Friends

Commentary:
By Steve Rodriguez

I am perpetually fascinated by the way Latinos in pop culture are often portrayed as possessing mystical qualities. By mystical, I mean a reference to religious or spiritual aspects that cannot be explained. From Isabel Allende magical realism novels to movies such as Like Water for Chocolate, I’ve always enjoyed that element of Latino pop culture emanating from our indigenous American background—an element that often associates Latinos with such mystical literary/film characters as the tribal shaman or mystical warrior, or in a more universal sense the “supernatural advisor” as expressed in Joseph Campbell’s concept of the “The Hero’s Journey.” According to Campbell, the supernatural advisor, often in the form of a wizard or wise old man, is the one who dispenses advice, an amulet or weapon to help the hero fight the dragon encountered along the proverbial quest. But my concept of the Latino mystical persona has recently suffered from two significant incidents. As a result, I am in the process of re-thinking who in Latino pop culture deserves the title of favorite supernatural advisor.

First, let us address the case of the famous guitarist Carlos Santana. Over the years he has labeled his songs/CD’s with such mystical titles as “Black Magic Woman,” “Abraxas,” “Shaman,” “Sacred Fire” and “Shape-Shifter.” Combine all these mysterious musical/spiritual associations with his ramblings about marijuana being the “sacred sacrament” and his silly but soulful quote that “Jesus will give you a high five when you get to the other side,” and you have a Latino celebrity who exudes a mystical persona that encourages his fans to think such things as “Wow. This guy is so profound. He obviously inhabits a different plane of existence…somewhere north of the Milky Way.” Unfortunately, this shaman-like celebrity has let me down big time in recent months. After all, this is the same mystical, albeit capitalistic Carlos Santana who in 2010, after much fan fare, opened one of his chain restaurants in our very own Mission Valley—the restaurant Maria Maria—and then ever-so-mysteriously closed its doors sometime in 2012. The restaurant abruptly shut down only after enticing me on several occasions to taste its delicious fare, but long before I could achieve any sense of spiritual enlightenment. Apparently, this supernatural advisor now expects me to go on my life’s quest without the accompaniment of his restaurant chain’s Rolled Duck Tacos or Chicken Mole Tortilla Casserole. What kind of other-worldly mentor is that?!

And then there’s the case of Edward James Olmos. This great actor is well known for his portrayal as the mystical “El Pachuco” in both the play and film version of Zoot Suit. I suggest there is no better example of Latino supernatural advisor than this character. But Olmos the actor has since lost credibility in my eyes. His recent T.V commercials for Union Bank represent the mere exploitation of his mystical persona, as he advises us about the supposed noble characteristics of this mid-sized bank. It’s easy to see why Olmos was selected for the Union Bank commercials. His speech patterns smack of mystical profundity; not only can he can say just about anything and sound as if were an Aztec sage delivering the secrets of Quetzalcoatl, but his face too looks so experienced, so worn and tired, exuding a sense of age-old wisdom—that it would be easy to believe that he was, in his earlier years, the supernatural advisor to the actual Emperor Montezuma, or at least Montezuma’s favorite bank teller. But in the Union Bank commercial his statements sound like clichés, as if he were straining to make Union Bank akin to a distinguished repository of all the Jedi warrior teachings of Obe Wan Kenobi.

Despite my disappointment with Santana and Olmos, I have still not given up hope with Latino pop culture mysticism. I am in fact now pinning my hopes on another Latino—”The Most Interesting Man in the World.” Yes, that familiar character who stars in those quirky Dos Equis beer commercials. In such commercials, this older, debonair character is portrayed as a man “rich in stories and experience,” with the voice-overs describing his unbelievable exploits in deeply profound statements (i.e., “if he were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the strong urge to thank him”; and “he can speak French, in Russian”). At the end of each commercial he advises the viewers, while flanked by two attractive young females, to “Stay thirsty, my friends” (the message delivered with a slight Spanish accent). In other words, he comes across much like a Latino supernatural advisor capable of dispensing valuable personal insight to those on a quest, even if the quest is nothing more than a good beer.

Now I realize the actor cast in this role is named Jonathan Goldsmith, but his connections to Latino pop culture are too strong to ignore. After all, he admits to modeling the character’s persona on his good friend—the famous 1940’s-50’s Hollywood actor, Fernando Llamas. And he is, by the way, shilling for a Mexican beer! Doesn’t that alone qualify him for Latino supernatural advisor status?

There may still be hope for Santana and Olmos—they may soon find a way to make amends for letting their brand of mysticism dim—but in the meantime I recommend relying on “The Most Interesting Man in the World” to guide us on our life quest.

Rodriguez is an English teacher in the Sweetwater Union High School District. Email: srodriguez2@san.rr.com

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